Danu Cosplays at an Anime Convention

It's late morning, and we find that the birds and the Plastic Baby Triceratops Bones have overcome their differences and are playing a little game.
Dreyer: Ssh, shh. It's his turn, and he's ahead. We've got to guess this one!
Sjöstöm: Ssh! I know. Ssh. I know I'm going to guess it right this time. I just know it.

PBTB: You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. Next stop....
Sjöström: Desperate Housewives! I got it!!
Dreyer: No! No! That's not our final answer!! It's the Twilight Zone!!
PBTB: I'm afraid we're going to have to take your team's first answer, Dreyer, and Desperate Housewives is about as incorrect as they come.
Sjöström: What?! How is that wrong??
Dreyer: I'm never playing on a team with you again.

Things are equally rocky elsewhere in the house, as Tinker has a terrible head cold.
Tinker: My head. I wish those stupid birds would be quiet. They go nuts every time that stupid plastic skeleton is near. I wonder why Danu keeps bringing it down from the attic. Ugh. I wish my tea would just brew. I'm so cold. So, so cold.

Here comes Danu, in an elegant gown.
Danu: Oops. Uh...shoot. Just tripped over the hem again. That'll need to be repaired.
Tinker: What are you wearing? Halloween's over, you know. Even you ball pig people must have enough of a grip on reality to know that.

Danu: Of course I know that, silly. I'm going cosplaying at the anime convention today. I'm really excited. Is my crown on straight?
Tinker: Cosplaying? I thought the point of cosplaying was that you made the costume yourself. I've seen your sewing skills, and I know you didn't make that yourself. It fits and has armholes that aren't on the same side of the shirt.

Danu: Humpf. Whatever. A nice lady on Sty of Angels made it. We're doing a team thing. I did make these winsome goddess sandals on my very own. They look really good, although I can't exactly get them on my feet. Must've measured wrong.

Danu: Also, I made Sir Edwin Valomyr's costume myself! He's going as Lil' Apollo, my sidekick! Everyone takes their pigfies to the anime conventions.

Danu: See? I made him bracers and EVERYTHING.
Tinker: He looks like a TV dinner. Take him away.
Danu: You're in a grumpy mood! You'd better beware the wrath of Lil' Apollo!
Tinker: Uh-hunh. Look, why are you dressed up as some Greek gooddess, anyway? I thought you were supposed to be something out of anime when you cosplayed at an anime convention. Or is this just something else I don't understand because it makes no sense?

Danu: Oh, no. It makes sense. I'm playing the goddess Helen-san from the hit anime series POLICE FORCE CLASSIC GREEK GODS TOKYO 2021!
Tinker: My head. My poor, poor head.
Danu: See, it's all about how Helen-san comes to earth and then gets involved in battling the ruthless crime scene in Tokyo with these two beat cops, Sandra and Misuska-so...
Tinker: Uh-hunh...
Danu: And they take on this syndicate of ancient sea spirits who are trying to overtake the world via the internet by making high school girls commit suicide...
Tinker: Uh-hunh....

An hour later.
Danu: ...and so they put the teenagers on an island and have them fight one another...
Tinker: Faith...in humanity...slipping...away....
Danu: Blah blah blah blah....big robots...blah blah blah....huge gila monster...blah blah blah...internet games controlling the President....blah blah blah...twincest...bla---
Tinker: TWINCEST?! What the hell is twincest?!
Danu: You know, where two twins are involved with each other.
Tinker: Okay, enough. Get out of here. I can feel every inch of my sinuses and my brain feels like it's been ripped in half. I don't need you filling it with robotic lizard twincest.
Danu: Fine. Whatever. I'm just trying to broaden your cultural horizons.
Tinker: I'll take a Berlitz course when I'm feeling better.

After Danu is gone, things settle down, and the animals resume their game.
Sjöström: Okay! It's my turn to do one, right?
Dreyer: Right.
PBTB: Right, but this time, try to make it a television personality.
Sjöström: Okay. Okay. Here it is.
Dreyer: You're just opening and closing your beak with no sound coming out.
Sjöström: I'm a goldfish!
Dreyer: A...goldfish? Sjöström, goldfish aren't television personalities.
Sjöström: But they're on TV ALL THE TIME!! I saw one in an ad this morning.
PBTB: Another point for me!
Dreyer: DARN IT!!
PBTB: Oops. Here comes Danu. Gotta be still again.

Danu returns, setting Sir Edwin Valomyr, her Asian Ball-Jointed Pig, on the floor. He looks a little...different...than he did this morning.

Danu: Oh, my god. That was the worst experience of my life. The. Worst.
Tinker: Hunh? Hunh? I was napping. What? You're back?
Danu: That was AWFUL! There were all these people running around randomly hugging each other with hands all sticky from Pocky sticks, and random kids shrieking "DESU!" and "KAWAII!" at frequencies that would work as a dogwhistle.
Tinker: So you didn't have fun?
Danu: Then, this girl runs RIGHT UP to me and screams, "PANTSU!" in my face and LICKS me. Just licks me, right on the cheek.
Tinker: What does 'pantsu' mean? Maybe it was a warning. Does it mean "I am about to lick you, friend?"
Danu: I have no idea. I spent an hour rubbing my cheek with Purell. And then some girl just grabbed Sir Edwin Valomyr out of my hands and had her friends take a picture of her with him. Just GRABBED him. Can you imagine grabbing a $500 Asian Ball Jointed Pig?
Tinker: No. I can't imagine owning one, either.
Danu: My God. It was horrible. Do you ever have days where you absolutely hate the hobby you love more than anything in the world?
Tinker: Nope. I'm a psychopath, not a schizophrenic.
Danu: Whatever. Ugh. I'm going to take a bath. And I'm taking the pig with me!

Tinker: ...

Dreyer: Okay, don't screw this up. We HAVE to get this point.
Sjöström: Okay. I won't.
Dreyer: Hey, PBTB, I need you for this, too. Come down here. Put my cage on the floor. Sjöström, sing with me when I start the song.
Sjöström: Okay, sure! What song?

Dreyer: In the not too distant FU-ture...
Sjöström: Next Sunday A.D.!
Dreyer & Sjöström: There was a guy name JOOOOEL, not too different from you or me...
PBTB: I know this...I know this...oh, no...it was on Comedy Central...
Dreyer & Sjöström: He worked at Gizmonics Institute, just another face in a red jumpsuit...
PBTB: AGH! I can't think of it! Oh no!
Dreyer & Sjöström: He did a good job cleaning up the place, but his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into space!
PBTB: PANTSU!!
Sjöström: OH, GROSS! YOU LICKED ME!!
PBTB: I win again!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!
Dreyer: Now my head hurts.

Many, many thanks to Sher for the wonderful outfit--it's become one of my favorites,
as have many of the others she sent. The gang says thank you!!