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Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon

Posted by Zonk on Thu Nov 09, 2006 07:53 PM
from the tastes-like-chicken-or-so-i've-heard dept.
Jearil writes "Wired's 'Table of Malcontents' blog links to an article about a wine-tasting robot that thinks humans taste like bacon. The Japanese robot is intended to act as a personal sommelier, suggesting wines, cheeses, and hors d'oeuvres based on its owners personal tastes. It also apparently thinks humans would be tasty as part of a sandwich." From the article: "Let the robot holocaust commence: robots think we taste like bacon ... Upon being given a sample, he will speak up in a childlike voice and identify what he has just been fed. The idea is that wineries can tell if a wine is authentic without even opening the bottle, amongst other more obscure uses ... like 'tell me what this strange grayish lump at the back of my freezer is/was.' But when some smart aleck reporter placed his hand in the robot's omnivorous clanking jaw, he was identified as bacon. A cameraman then tried and was identified as prosciutto." This is most distressing.

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  • yummy (Score:5, Funny)

    by FudRucker (866063) on Thursday November 09 2006, @07:55PM (#16789783)
    Bacon flavored soylent green
  • The robot is right (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 09 2006, @07:55PM (#16789789)
    And that's all I'm going to say.
  • Soo... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Shadow Wrought (586631) * on Thursday November 09 2006, @07:55PM (#16789791) Homepage Journal
    Was he supposed to know what human flesh tastes like? 'Cause once they get the taste, there's no going back!
  • Distressing? (Score:5, Funny)

    by onion2k (203094) on Thursday November 09 2006, @07:55PM (#16789793) Homepage
    This is most distressing.

    No it's not. It's brilliant. The only thing putting me off cannabalism was a concern I might not like the taste. Best news ever!
  • I thought (Score:5, Funny)

    by Scareduck (177470) on Thursday November 09 2006, @07:55PM (#16789797) Homepage Journal
    humans tasted just like chicken. (I haven't summoned the courage to ask my wife what she thinks I taste like.)
  • The robot got it right. (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Tackhead (54550) on Thursday November 09 2006, @07:59PM (#16789831)
    Ask a Polynesian cannibal why they called it long pig.

    If there are no Polynesian cannibals in your area, ask a soldier or fireman what burning human flesh smells like.

    We smell like pork when we're well-done. The robot got it absolutely right. And I, for one, would like to remind the robot that I'm absolutely delicious when served with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

  • by ScrewMaster (602015) on Thursday November 09 2006, @07:59PM (#16789837)
    it looks like the Rise of the Machines will take place in the kitchen.
  • Okay.. (Score:5, Insightful)

    by vga_init (589198) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:02PM (#16789849) Homepage Journal
    This does not surprise me considering that pork is the closest thing to human flesh that we eat.

    I used to theorize that human flesh probably contains more of the same nutrients we need than any other food out there, so I had guessed in the past that in theory it would be pretty tasty.
  • One thing is certain... (Score:5, Funny)

    by caitsith01 (606117) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:03PM (#16789857) Homepage Journal
    One thing is certain, the repetitive jokes will soon be here. And I for one welcome our new "I for one welcome..."-joke-setting-up overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted Slashdotter I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground repetitive-joke-comment caves (as if they need it).
  • That poor man. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:04PM (#16789861)
    Say, they didn't happen to give us that cameraman's name? Where to find him, perhaps? He sounds like the kind of guy I'd love to meat. Er, meet. He sounds like maybe he could use a comforting olive oil bath, and then relax on a bed of mozarella and fresh basil.
  • Long Pig (Score:5, Informative)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:07PM (#16789885)
    Human flesh is known as Long Pig in some cultures that have a history of cannibalism: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_pig [wikipedia.org]. So it's not just robots who make this connection.

    Where are the Soylent Green Jokes?

  • by doug141 (863552) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:07PM (#16789887)
    They like alcohol. And gambling.
  • Good wine (Score:5, Funny)

    by dodongo (412749) <smith60.purdue@edu> on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:11PM (#16789907) Homepage
    Well at least now we know to pair human flesh with a darker, spicier red like Zinfandel or Shiraz / Syrah.

    Phew.
  • Re:Distressing? (Score:5, Informative)

    by DrMrLordX (559371) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:16PM (#16789945) Homepage
    Enjoy the Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.
  • BACON!@!!!@!!! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:16PM (#16789947)
    Robots don't know it's not bacon!
  • No pig for me (Score:5, Interesting)

    by AsnFkr (545033) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:18PM (#16789957) Homepage Journal
    This is seriously why I don't dine on swine. Back on the farm I grew up on from time to time we'd have to cut up a pig for whatever reason and the way pig's flesh looks when being cut open looks EXACTLY like human flesh being cut, and it's haunted me for years. Pigs are just too close to people in my mind.
  • obligatory animal farm quote (Score:5, Interesting)

    by gsn (989808) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:18PM (#16789959)
    "The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."
  • Then Hannibal was wrong (Score:5, Funny)

    by khendron (225184) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:20PM (#16789965) Homepage
    He should have chosen a Burgundy, which is a fine match for prosciutto, instead of a Chianti.
  • Aztecs Can Confirm! (Score:5, Interesting)

    by NoTailNoGoodnik (882750) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:20PM (#16789973)

    The robot probably isn't far off...

    The Aztecs had a long legacy of cannibalism as part of their religious ceremonies. It was considered (I assume by those not experiencing it) an honor to be killed and eaten as a token to their god(s).

    After the Spanish came and forcefully converted the native American survivors to Roman Catholocism, the Aztecs adopted the stigma attached to cannibalism. However, they couldn't get enough of that porcine protein brought over from Europe. When asked about their focused consumption of pigs, the former people eaters replied with a simple answer: pigs taste like you and me.

  • Humans and Swine Not Dissimilar (Score:5, Insightful)

    by AeroIllini (726211) <aeroillini@gmail.TWAINcom minus author> on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:21PM (#16789975)
    We would be good on a sandwich.

    Humans and pigs are actually fairly close anatomically, which is why high school students dissect pig fetuses every year and why pigs are a promising species in the field of Xenotransplantation [wikipedia.org]. And it's really not distressing at all, after you get over the ick factor. We're not made of magical fairy dust ... we are flesh and bone just like any other mammal, and it seems reasonable to believe that animals which are similar anatomically would have similar compounds that generate similar tastes.
  • Don't take it lying down! (Score:5, Funny)

    by EmbeddedJanitor (597831) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:24PM (#16789991)
    What does robot taste like?
  • smells like it (Score:5, Interesting)

    by gad_zuki! (70830) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:29PM (#16790041)
    True story. I was having radiosurgery to remove a birthmark a couple of years ago. Essentially it burns off the skin in a way that allows it to heal with no scarring. I'm dosed up with Novocain and am lying down trying not think of whats going on a few inches from my eyes. Suddenly it smells like burning pork. I think to myself "What the hell is burning." A moment later I realized it was me.
  • Re:I thought (Score:5, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:34PM (#16790081)
    humans tasted just like chicken. (I haven't summoned the courage to ask my wife what she thinks I taste like.)

    The mailman, probably...

    Thank you, I'll be here all this week!
  • by Cyberblah (140887) on Thursday November 09 2006, @08:36PM (#16790101) Homepage
    Only build Jewish robots.
  • Re:Don't take it lying down! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Epsillon (608775) on Thursday November 09 2006, @11:05PM (#16790724) Homepage Journal

    What does robot taste like?

    Irony.