The Onion

Thursday, March 1, 2007

Cheney Nearly Bombed

At least nine people have died in a suicide bombing at a U.S. base in Afghanistan during Vice President Dick Cheney's stay. What do you think?

Asian Man

Karl Fetterman,
Sewage Treatment Worker
"This was an utterly pointless assassination attempt. Everybody knows the only thing that can kill Cheney is another Cheney."

Old Man

Larry Thomas,
Cell-Phone Salesperson
"That day was supposed to be a celebration. Couldn't the bomber have at least swallowed a couple of streamers?"

Old Woman

Yvonne DeRogatis,
Sandwich Maker
"That's all? I expect at least nine people to die when Cheney walks into an Applebee's."

Personal of the Day