Mar 16 2007Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie to counsel fat kids

A rep for E! has confirmed that Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton are going to be counseling overweight campers on the new season of The Simple Life.
"They are going to be camp counselors at one camp in the Southern California Mountains," says an E! spokesperson. "The camp has five different themes. Each week will be a different theme. And yes, one week is a weight loss/fitness camp. It's not a fat camp."
Because, really, who better to guide the fate of fat children than Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. They're gonna spend the whole time pointing and laughing and going, "Jesus, they're so fat!" And then Nicole Richie will say, "Oh my God, Paris, they can hear you." And then they'll laugh some more and Paris will laugh so hard she'll let out a little fart. And maybe a little poo will come out. Just a little. Because she's classy.
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Reader Comments
1. Schnuggie - March 16, 2007 3:06 PM
I don't get it. What do these two fat asses know about dieting???
2. Kate - March 16, 2007 3:10 PM
What's the problem with these two counseling overweight people? I mean, they're OBVIOUSLY super healthy themselves, what with the DUIs, drug use, STDs, and eating disorders...okay, I see the problem now. Good choice, E! Network.
3. ponk - March 16, 2007 3:11 PM
like fat kids don't already have enough problems.... jeeeeeezuz.
4. rrd - March 16, 2007 3:12 PM
They are going to teach them how to puke!
Ok...take this finger...no, no THIS finger...yea. Now stick it way down, no, wait! lean over. yes, like that. Wait. want another doughnut first?
5. Donkey - March 16, 2007 3:13 PM
and people (sheeple) will still watch it.
6. Donkey - March 16, 2007 3:14 PM
look it's Paris Hilton and her midget twin.
7. stevob2006 - March 16, 2007 3:14 PM
So
8. HerpesHilton - March 16, 2007 3:17 PM
I can't wait to see the kids faces when Paris starts talking about one of the hazards of being skinny and pretty is getting 'itchy' down there.
9. Superevil - March 16, 2007 3:26 PM
I hope they get eaten.
10. freak_show - March 16, 2007 3:26 PM
They will sit around for the entire episode saying "Like, don't eat so much because I don't and I look like this (picture Paris w/ her little coy curtsy)." Nicole will say, "Yeah, and learn how to throw up, that's what I do." Then, they will all have the fat people skip out on the town wearing their clothing (or trying to do so). They'll all go to the local 7-11 where Paris and Nicole have the pigs buy all the Ben and Jerry's. They'll go back to camp, wash it all down w/ Kool-aid and Oreos and then they will all puke and take laxatives together!
No, wait, that's what my friends all do.
11. Hollywood headache - March 16, 2007 3:26 PM
The only person that they should council is the first person they see when they look in the mirror. I mean honestly how could the two dumbest people in the world teach you something about your self????????
hollywoodheadache.com
12. mrs.t - March 16, 2007 3:27 PM
It will be exactly like the episode of The Simple Life when they worked on that farm with the cows. Nicole will agree to be the one who has to, like, touch the fat people then she will chase Paris with her contaminated hand while Paris screams "Eeeeewwwwww, you bitch!"
Those are some kind of lucky fat kids.
13. Lowlands - March 16, 2007 3:28 PM
Looking at these girls the fat kids will get hungry and run to the nearest Burgerking.
14. schack - March 16, 2007 3:30 PM
#9...hysterical
15. schack - March 16, 2007 3:31 PM
i bet you're turkish, lowlands.
16. Lowlands - March 16, 2007 3:32 PM
Paris Hilton can show them her video and explain them how to exercise to get the fat burned away.
17. Donkey - March 16, 2007 3:32 PM
Why don't they put these two in a room together with a story line something like the first "Saw" movie.
Now that's a reality show I could watch!
18. schack - March 16, 2007 3:33 PM
i mean, in the end, none of it matters. but in the meantime, a show like this is really nauseatingly cruel.
19. Lowlands - March 16, 2007 3:39 PM
#15)Allright i'll take your bet.How much do we bet? €10.000?
20. schack - March 16, 2007 3:41 PM
how are we gonna settle the bet? you'll just lie to me
21. Lowlands - March 16, 2007 3:44 PM
I'll send you a lousy webcampic as a proof.
22. mrs.t - March 16, 2007 3:46 PM
#16-Dude, exercise had nothing to do with Paris' performance in that video.
She is, literally, a lazy fuck.
23. TJH - March 16, 2007 3:46 PM
Big deal. You know what they say about fat girls: find a fold and fuck it!
24. herb3 - March 16, 2007 3:48 PM
Paris has no feet.
25. mrs.t - March 16, 2007 3:48 PM
#23- I thought it was "Roll them in flour and look for the wet spot."
26. ponk - March 16, 2007 3:52 PM
those camp kids will eat these two alive...literally.
27. ponk - March 16, 2007 3:53 PM
and look, there's Danielle bottom pic, far left.
28. Lowlands - March 16, 2007 3:56 PM
#25)I'm wondering wat mr.T would say about this.
29. schack - March 16, 2007 4:02 PM
i don't want a web cam of you. gross.
30. Lowlands - March 16, 2007 4:02 PM
The good news for Nicole Ritchie is she doesn't need this flourbath.There ain't any wet spot anyway.
31. mrs.t - March 16, 2007 4:05 PM
He would pity the fool who coined the phrase. Then he would thank god that his wife is stunningly gorgeous, slimly athletic, and perfect in every way.
Finally, he would kill you for talking to me, throw your body on the back of the van, and leave you in a shallow grave behind the salvage yard. What do you want? He's Mr. Motherfucking T.
32. Lobo - March 16, 2007 4:07 PM
Any ideas/guesses as to the themes for the remaining four weeks?
33. NicotineEyePatch - March 16, 2007 4:12 PM
They'll sneak in junk food and sell it to the kids at a 200% markup, like Cartman did on South Park. And then hopefully one of them will discover the deception and beat the living shit out of both of them on camera.
34. connie2331 - March 16, 2007 4:19 PM
2 stupid little bitches. paris is such a good roll model for anyone. i would not bang either one with a rent a dick let alone my own.
35. danielle - March 16, 2007 4:26 PM
Look there's Ponk in drag. The ugly redhead.
36. woodhorse - March 16, 2007 4:49 PM
If Paris will teach them to pole dance, I will actually watch TV.
37. Spindoc - March 16, 2007 4:50 PM
I can just hear it now....
Nichole will walk up to them and say "Um, I got three words for you, METH METH METH"
38. PunjabPete - March 16, 2007 5:14 PM
Please god, let one of the mammoths kill Paris... Please god, let one of the mammoths kill Paris... Please god......
39. elizabeththewellread - March 16, 2007 5:53 PM
I'm betting that Paris Hilton will get picked up and cracked in half over somebody's knee. Everyone with any sense hates her except as an object of ridicule, but some 400 lb. fighting bitch WILL have it out with her. Let's watch.
40. iamsosmrt - March 16, 2007 6:00 PM
Dear America,
You gave the world Paris Hilton. This means WAR!
P.S. You’re FAT!
41. luvinit - March 16, 2007 6:01 PM
I hope when they "counsel" the fat kids one will have a break through and hug them, and they will be consumed by one of the rolls and never be heard from again until the fat kid decides to loose weight and two skeletons wrapped in pink clothes, monster sunglasses and starbucks cups fall out of the kid.
42. BarbadoSlim - March 16, 2007 6:20 PM
The only Simple Life I wanna see is the one time special were they each drink a gallon 92 octane and then they try to smoke cigarettes.
A very special final episode on the dangers of smoking.
43. RichPort - March 16, 2007 6:28 PM
Anyone else think it's uber gay for these anorexic semen recepticles to wear matching, clothes. It looks like Richie borrowed Hilton's shorts. Fuck, that's nasty, ...
15., 19. Dutch, as in "lowlands of Holland". Euros would be fine, the dollar exchange is pretty good now.
Oh, and RPLTC like a dog with a bully stick! Where is that gay fucker, anyway?
44. WTFiswrongwithUppl - March 16, 2007 6:32 PM
41--Pure. Fucking. Comedic. GOLD!!!
45. RichPort - March 16, 2007 6:34 PM
40. Lean and mean, baby! And if you're going to declare war, you should probably practice your two-handed salute, "cheese-eating surrender monkey", ...
46. iamsosmrt - March 16, 2007 6:57 PM
RichPort,
I have read many of your comments and you are hilarious. I'm just joking around. Because I am in fantastic shape I'm lover not a fighter. I think the stupidest people in the world are the one's who actually think of a America as a giant group they can make generalizations about and I was wondering if I would get some comments of people agreeing.
Anyhow, if the entire world joined together to kill Paris Hilton and the festering wart she named Nicole maybe then, we would finally have world peace.
47. danielle - March 16, 2007 7:32 PM
Sooooo, all of your kids will be attending right Ponk?
48. imran karim - March 16, 2007 8:23 PM
richie looks good there
49. katlady12 - March 16, 2007 9:27 PM
Since when did nicole start to look like a blonde, white chick? shes looks like paris more and more.
50. okiedoke - March 16, 2007 10:27 PM
#18 - totally agree.
51. kacsing - March 16, 2007 10:28 PM
Oh my GOD!!!! This is the first time I've laughed at any of these stupid things. This one is just too funny! Just a little poo because she's "classy" - that's a good one.
52. D'arcy - March 17, 2007 1:44 AM
This should be on the Discovery Channel -- What happens when two malnourished storks taunt the hungry irritable buffalo herd of Southern California? Will they be eaten, choked, trampled, or all three?
The animal behavior experts are watching.
53. Daldianus - March 17, 2007 2:25 AM
What's the difference between a weight loss/fitness and fat camp? If there are only fat people there?
54. DeeDee246 - March 17, 2007 3:54 AM
I think Nicole is looking awesome, she's going to be the famous one out of the pair...
I hope that Paris gets eaten by a fat kid, she looks luck a trashy westy in that pic, like can't she afford a tailor to hem her heinous trakkies??
55. kingnoony - March 17, 2007 8:16 AM
Oh dear Lord God please, let one of them accidently sit on paris and suffocate that little bitch right in between the odoriferous cheeks of her shit-tainted ass...
56. LeShapeShifter - March 17, 2007 8:29 AM
The insider says "it's not a FAT camp"...RIGHT... It just happens to be a camp where fat chicks go to try to lose blubber. I like how those porkers still try dress up and fix their hair and nails all perfect like the SO-Cal hotties they are. As soon as that one gal sits down that wall won't stand a chance.
57. Meemzzzzzz - March 17, 2007 8:47 AM
.............
It's every girls dream to weigh as much as lint
58. woodhorse - March 17, 2007 10:00 AM
#43 missed you much Wally. Always a delight to read your comments. Gay or not gay is not the question. The question is how come nobody but me wants to see all of them pole dance??Paris is supposed to be the expert. They might even drive Paris wild with desire like Britney did - now THAT would be a show. And nicole could serve them cute little Ritalin-on-a-bisquit for appetizers.
59. New York Pundit - March 17, 2007 11:45 AM
Will someone please shoot Hilton & Richie....
60. fightgrrrl - March 17, 2007 12:45 PM
lesson 1: purging.
Lesson 2: snorting coke.
61. fritobandito - March 17, 2007 2:07 PM
The fat girls should just sit on both of them and eat chips. Nothing else for the entire show. just fat chicks sitting on the fuck bags eating ice cream and chips. I'd watch that. Oh yeah, and every once in a while they should stuff a chip into one of their mouths and laugh as they try to spit out the "bad calories"
62. Truthseeker013 - March 17, 2007 2:08 PM
And, in a related story, I've just been named the KKK's Goodwill Ambassador to the Little People's Assocoiation of America.
63. Lowlands - March 17, 2007 2:52 PM
Paris H. and Nicole R.should put a bananapeel on their head while counseling fat kids.In this way they're promoting fruits and vegetables what might be better snacks for those kids.
64. Lowlands - March 17, 2007 3:12 PM
I noticed in the Far East their snacking behaviour is a bit different compared with the Western world.Native Far Eastern people like to snack;lots of fruits,roasted seaweed a bit salted with sesameseeds (one of my favorites),dried octopus (i'll eat it but don't wake me up for that),dried fish,leftovers from the day before (maybe the same in the West).
65. teetee - March 17, 2007 5:00 PM
Looks like Nicole could use some counselling herself. Look at that roll of fat around her tummy! Come on Nicole! You're letting yourself go!
66. Lowlands - March 17, 2007 5:21 PM
I just wanted to say that N.Ritchie is a most extreme example.
67. iamsosmrt - March 17, 2007 5:46 PM
Nicole Richie has the most beautiful torso I've ever seen. I mean look at it, it's completely mesmerizing. It's not oddly shaped or covered in a flaccid doughy roll or the human version Mr. Burns naked cartoon body at all. Clearly that perfect torso of hers is very muscular and full of yummy nutritious food, not a bag of next months crack. She's just the most athletic girl I've ever seen. I love that she is wearing those shorts and running shoes in order to be appropriately dressed for her athletic endeavors and not because she is a trashy, poser, fashion addict. It's great to see that she acquired that low body weight through exercise, not from shoving her servant's finger down her throat. All she needs now is an Olympic gold medal around her neck and she will be the healthiest, definitely not half dead, looking woman in America.
68. licklick - March 17, 2007 5:50 PM
#39 Perfect.
I hope the fattest one of them winds up and smacks bitch Hilton in the face. It would possibly improve her looks as well has her attitude.
69. HollyJ - March 17, 2007 6:00 PM
While everyone is eating low-cal banana pudding, Paris will climb into medical stirrups and demonstrate how to lose weight by popping and removing the pus from hundreds of genital lesions.
70. beifiori - March 17, 2007 9:20 PM
HollyJ, I do believe you've just found the best diet aid EVER. I started reading your comment as I sat down to eat my Lean Cuisine Potstickers and my eyes fell upon your very descriptive words. Had to set it aside dear before the projectile vomiting bore a hole through my monitor...seriously, you should patent that hahah!
71. irapback - March 18, 2007 7:07 AM
those horny fat ass bitches would try to stuck paris and nicole in their vagina.
72. HollyJ - March 18, 2007 12:18 PM
@70 It prob doesn't help that potstickers are not unlike fleshy pustules that explode in your mouth with warm viscious juices as you bite them.
73. HollyJ - March 18, 2007 12:19 PM
viscous*
74. Wildhoney - March 18, 2007 2:32 PM
A couple of skinny runts with no idea teach five fat slobs with no idea how to eat nothing. Fantastic prime time television.
75. Dory - March 18, 2007 4:30 PM
Superfish can you really see into the future because I have No Doubt... NONE at all that this is exactly what will happen... can you tell me whats going to happen after that?
76. Pikachelsea - March 18, 2007 5:52 PM
New from the makers of the Stupid Spoiled Whore Playset -- it's the Stupid Spoiled Whore Diet Of Questionable Medical Background! Scarf it and barf it; it's THAT EASY!
"Stupid Spoiled Whore: Because there's no such thing as inner beauty."
77. woodhorse - March 18, 2007 6:21 PM
#67 darling sarcasm. Now please entertain us with some sarcasm on that really viscious looking heifer with strawberry blonde hair and the turquoise and black top sitting on the end. If Nicole gets within 10 feet of that tank she is going to end up as road kill.
78. The-Guslet - March 18, 2007 8:30 PM
Bad. Idea.
I'm with Donkey in #17 - I would definitely watch that!
79. PongGod - March 18, 2007 10:57 PM
But during the other four weeks, the campers will be learning all about how to be trashy sluts.
80. woodhorse - March 19, 2007 6:26 AM
#78. FINE. All I really wanted was to see them all pole dance. Was that too much to ask?
81. jrzmommy - March 19, 2007 7:53 AM
They should just start an all-encompassing advice center for clean living, career counseling, math tutoring, pro-bono legal aid and abstinence advocacy.
82. KatieKates - March 19, 2007 8:39 AM
Lard asses like Nicole and Paris should be on their treadmills instead of counseling lard ass kids.
Now Mary Kate and Ashley - they should be counseling fat kids.
83. VeronicaRedux - March 19, 2007 9:16 AM
Her's the camp survival kit: cigarettes, adderall, an empty Starbucks cup, and an ounce of Joel Madden's spooge(gotta have protein).
84. Sheenanana - March 20, 2007 7:21 AM
Are you kidding me?? Can't anyone do anything in moderation anymore? Why can't they get people who have actually OVERCOME eating disorders instead of people who are in denial? Two extremes can't meet in the middle, it's not like Paris and Nicole have adaptable lifestyles these teens can meet. That's going to be the worst life advice ever.
85. Kermit Johnson - August 9, 2007 4:36 PM
I guess I don't have the intense hatred for Nicole and Paris that the author of the post displays.
OK, so the two celebs might have eating disorders themselves. However, I am guessing there is some kind of nutritionist or health professional involved with the program, so maybe kids will sign up to see these stars, and maybe everyone will benefit and learn something, including Paris and Nichole.
86. PRETTYKIRARA - June 11, 2008 2:47 AM
HEY THERE NICHOLE. MY NAME IS JADEN RILEY CROOKS. I'M 15 YRS OLD. MY BIRTHDAY IS COMMING UP SOON, IT AUGUST 5TH. & I'LL BE 16 YRS OLD. I CAN'T WAIT. MY ADRESS IS 604 3RD ST. ( BEHIND THE BOWLING ALLEY REGUAL LANES - ACROSS THE CITY HALL) I REALLY WANT TO GO TO CALIFORINA. IT'S BEEN MY DREAM SCINCE I WAS PRACIALLY BORN. I REALLY WANT TO BE A PLAYBOY BUNNY. BUT I'M SORTTA OVERWEIGHT. I'M BULLIED A LOT BECAUSE I'M A HUGE TOMBOY, & I'M ALSO OVERWEIGHT. I ALSO LOVE TO DYE MY HAIR ALL KINDS OF COLRS. I'M NOT IN SCHOOL BECAUSE OF THE BULLING. EVERYONE WOULD BEAT, TOURMENT, & ABUSE ME. I HAD ENOUGH TOURCHER & I SNAPED, I THREATED TO TAKE A GUN TO SCHOOL & SCHOOT MY TOURMENTERS & PULL IT ON MYSELF. BUT I HAD TOLD MY MOM & I WAS PLACED IN A PSYCHRIC HOPITICTAL & NOW I'M DOING A LITTLE BETTER, BUT A FEW DAYS A GO, I HAD RAN IN WITH SOME MORE BULLIES & THEY CALLED ME FAT, ( I'M OVERWEIGHT) STUPID, (I'M NOT IN SCHOOL) & UGLY. THEY HAD ALSO HAD SAID THAT I WON'T BE A PLAYBOY BUNNY. I RAN AWAY CRYING. THEY HAD LAUGHED & WALKED AWAY. THEY WERE YELLING "BABOON" ( IT'S EVERONE'S NAME 4 ME) I SOOOOOOO HATE IT. BUT I CAN'T DO ANY THING ABOUT IT. NOONE DOES ANYTHING 2 TRY 2 PROUT ME FROM THEM. WELL THAT'S ENOUGH RAMBLING FROM ME. BYE- JAYDEN RILEY CROOKS
87. PRETTYKIRARA - June 11, 2008 2:47 AM
HEY THERE NICHOLE. MY NAME IS JADEN RILEY CROOKS. I'M 15 YRS OLD. MY BIRTHDAY IS COMMING UP SOON, IT AUGUST 5TH. & I'LL BE 16 YRS OLD. I CAN'T WAIT. MY ADRESS IS 604 3RD ST. ( BEHIND THE BOWLING ALLEY REGUAL LANES - ACROSS THE CITY HALL) I REALLY WANT TO GO TO CALIFORINA. IT'S BEEN MY DREAM SCINCE I WAS PRACIALLY BORN. I REALLY WANT TO BE A PLAYBOY BUNNY. BUT I'M SORTTA OVERWEIGHT. I'M BULLIED A LOT BECAUSE I'M A HUGE TOMBOY, & I'M ALSO OVERWEIGHT. I ALSO LOVE TO DYE MY HAIR ALL KINDS OF COLRS. I'M NOT IN SCHOOL BECAUSE OF THE BULLING. EVERYONE WOULD BEAT, TOURMENT, & ABUSE ME. I HAD ENOUGH TOURCHER & I SNAPED, I THREATED TO TAKE A GUN TO SCHOOL & SCHOOT MY TOURMENTERS & PULL IT ON MYSELF. BUT I HAD TOLD MY MOM & I WAS PLACED IN A PSYCHRIC HOPITICTAL & NOW I'M DOING A LITTLE BETTER, BUT A FEW DAYS A GO, I HAD RAN IN WITH SOME MORE BULLIES & THEY CALLED ME FAT, ( I'M OVERWEIGHT) STUPID, (I'M NOT IN SCHOOL) & UGLY. THEY HAD ALSO HAD SAID THAT I WON'T BE A PLAYBOY BUNNY. I RAN AWAY CRYING. THEY HAD LAUGHED & WALKED AWAY. THEY WERE YELLING "BABOON" ( IT'S EVERONE'S NAME 4 ME) I SOOOOOOO HATE IT. BUT I CAN'T DO ANY THING ABOUT IT. NOONE DOES ANYTHING 2 TRY 2 PROUT ME FROM THEM. WELL THAT'S ENOUGH RAMBLING FROM ME. BYE- JAYDEN RILEY CROOKS
88. PRETTYKIRARA - June 11, 2008 2:47 AM
HEY THERE NICHOLE. MY NAME IS JADEN RILEY CROOKS. I'M 15 YRS OLD. MY BIRTHDAY IS COMMING UP SOON, IT AUGUST 5TH. & I'LL BE 16 YRS OLD. I CAN'T WAIT. MY ADRESS IS 604 3RD ST. ( BEHIND THE BOWLING ALLEY REGUAL LANES - ACROSS THE CITY HALL) I REALLY WANT TO GO TO CALIFORINA. IT'S BEEN MY DREAM SCINCE I WAS PRACIALLY BORN. I REALLY WANT TO BE A PLAYBOY BUNNY. BUT I'M SORTTA OVERWEIGHT. I'M BULLIED A LOT BECAUSE I'M A HUGE TOMBOY, & I'M ALSO OVERWEIGHT. I ALSO LOVE TO DYE MY HAIR ALL KINDS OF COLRS. I'M NOT IN SCHOOL BECAUSE OF THE BULLING. EVERYONE WOULD BEAT, TOURMENT, & ABUSE ME. I HAD ENOUGH TOURCHER & I SNAPED, I THREATED TO TAKE A GUN TO SCHOOL & SCHOOT MY TOURMENTERS & PULL IT ON MYSELF. BUT I HAD TOLD MY MOM & I WAS PLACED IN A PSYCHRIC HOPITICTAL & NOW I'M DOING A LITTLE BETTER, BUT A FEW DAYS A GO, I HAD RAN IN WITH SOME MORE BULLIES & THEY CALLED ME FAT, ( I'M OVERWEIGHT) STUPID, (I'M NOT IN SCHOOL) & UGLY. THEY HAD ALSO HAD SAID THAT I WON'T BE A PLAYBOY BUNNY. I RAN AWAY CRYING. THEY HAD LAUGHED & WALKED AWAY. THEY WERE YELLING "BABOON" ( IT'S EVERONE'S NAME 4 ME) I SOOOOOOO HATE IT. BUT I CAN'T DO ANY THING ABOUT IT. NOONE DOES ANYTHING 2 TRY 2 PROUT ME FROM THEM. WELL THAT'S ENOUGH RAMBLING FROM ME. BYE- JAYDEN RILEY CROOKS