digg

Join DiggAbout

The Digg Crew wants to hear your thoughts!
Please take our short survey about Digg and potential feature ideas.

Sheryl Crow Suggests Limiting Americans Use To One Square Per Sitting

washingtonpost.com — Sheryl Crow: I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions

show profanity settings
expand all
  • ChronicColonic, on 10/12/2007, -337/+52Hmmmm...sounds like communist Russia to me...


    Let me be the first to say it...

    In Soviet Russia, toilet paper wipes you.
    • nixonrichard, on 10/12/2007, -10/+1861I would be glad to let Sheryl Crow try to wipe my ass with just one square of toilet paper. Not all of us have dainty little poopers like her. When I take a dump I WRECK the toilet. It's not some delicate process which leaves only a small speck of feces on the corner of my anus. It's like a freaking M-80 detonated in a bowl of brownie batter. So, please, by all means, TRY to wipe my ass with one square Sheryl . . . I'll be more than happy to sit naked on your new white couch afterwards.
    • LanceArmstrong, on 10/12/2007, -31/+243Sheryl can suck my ball.
    • ray901, on 10/12/2007, -4/+300I can get by with a single square ....as long as it is 3' * 3'
    • Sep11insidejob, on 11/06/2007, -28/+656Sometimes I wipe with like 40 pieces and as I am wiping, my finger goes right through the paper and ends up in my ass.

      I hate it when I end up with stinky pinkie
    • PATSCRU, on 10/12/2007, -5/+326@nixonrichard and sep11insidejob:
      Those are quite possibly the two nastiest posts i've ever seen on digg, and strangely, they are more effective than 99% of digg posts i read.
    • qasabah, on 10/12/2007, -3/+401The only time one square is ever enough is when you have one of those "ghost" poops where you know the poop in the toilet is yours but you can't prove it because of a lack of evidence on the paper.
    • smithro1984, on 10/12/2007, -0/+201Even when i do have a MIRACLE "one wipe wonder", its never one sheet because ive folded it over 2-3 times.
    • Lord_oftheTrons, on 10/12/2007, -3/+137Look at her other brilliant idea:

      "I have designed a clothing line that has what's called a "dining sleeve." The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve," after usage. The design will offer the "diner" the convenience of wiping his mouth on his sleeve rather than throwing out yet another barely used paper product."

      I'll be sure to pick one of those up. Now its cool too look like a complete slob at dinner. Are the exhaust pipes from that bio-diesel bus being pumped right back into the bus?
    • brokekneck, on 10/12/2007, -6/+114I'm with nixon on this one. It takes atleast 3 flush's since the switch to low-flow toliets. And 4/5 I have to use a plunger at the end.
    • djSyndrome, on 10/12/2007, -4/+209Regardless of the degree of truth involved, I think Nixonrichard just won Digg for the day.
    • Easty, on 10/12/2007, -12/+105It's not a problem if you've mastered the ninja ***** like I have.
      No wiping necessary.
      A skill worthy of inclusion in Herculean legend.
    • NickMilne, on 10/12/2007, -4/+102Her "dining sleeve" idea is retarded. We had those: they were called "handkerchiefs."
    • hdtvdust, on 10/12/2007, -69/+13nixon...you might wnt to think about changing your diet a little bit. Maybe eat a salad. Some fiber at least.

      By the way, if anyone doesn't realize this is a joke, you are ridiculously naive and unfit for society.
    • lordthor, on 10/12/2007, -35/+2.......................No.
    • qasabah, on 10/12/2007, -0/+74Maybe we she can invent a "Wipe-Glove" that can be used in the bathroom, washed and reused in the same vein as her "Wipe-Sleeve" accessory for fine dining.
    • geodescent, on 10/12/2007, -18/+5nixon, welcome to my friends list
    • Indryd, on 10/12/2007, -19/+1That's funny (OP) don't know why you're getting buried.
    • AZTriGuy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+74To quote the original Man Show ads that spoke about the great things about being a man,

      "The pride that comes when you have to flush twice..."
    • Skrilla360, on 10/12/2007, -12/+6I thought the dining sleeve comment was just another digg user acting like a fool, but after RTFA she really said that ROFL!!!!!
    • southwestnut, on 10/12/2007, -2/+114You could get by with using one sheet.......


      of Bounty, which has the texture of 40 grit sandpaper



    • raynar, on 10/12/2007, -4/+79When I finish takin a dump, my butt's calling ME the *****.
    • fluxion, on 10/12/2007, -1/+54i dont know what kind of badass gold-plated toilet paper sheryl crow uses to wipe her buttcheeks, but 1, or 2, or 3 squares isnt gonna do anything but get doodoo all over your hands.
    • ShBm, on 10/12/2007, -9/+1WTF is the dining sleeve made of that we can just throw away the whole thing after every meal?
    • digg5, on 10/12/2007, -4/+127Silly hippie, paper is renewable.
    • GraceMolloy, on 10/12/2007, -3/+37Maybe if I had a Bidet and only needed the one square to dry myself. but then I would just use a towel would I? So, even less paper used.

      Seriously, she's hot and rich, but generally hot/rich people should keep their damned mouthes shut as they haven't had to live like a *real* person in YEARS ... if ever.
    • somnambulator, on 10/12/2007, -12/+65Dear Mr. nixonrichard,
      First I laughed and turned red, then I became silent and turned purple, I lost the ability to breath, my stomach became rigid and I farted, plus I think a few blood vessels burst in there somewhere.
      Thank you, there is nothing as funny as a good poo joke.
    • bpapa, on 10/12/2007, -0/+76These are the best nested comments in Digg's history.
    • tizz66, on 10/12/2007, -1/+36"Maybe we she can invent a "Wipe-Glove" that can be used in the bathroom, washed and reused in the same vein as her "Wipe-Sleeve" accessory for fine dining."

      Just don't get them mixed up...
    • moofer, on 10/12/2007, -7/+1what if we combined her idea of only using one square, with the idea of using a sleeve?
    • masterskill, on 10/12/2007, -1/+29Thats like only using one shell.
    • GuyHersh, on 10/12/2007, -1/+72I find it funny that nixonrichard has quite a bit for more diggs than the article does..
    • flashboy131, on 10/12/2007, -2/+54nixonrichard
      post of the year. LOL
    • TheKillDoctor, on 10/12/2007, -1/+40Yes but how does a blind person know when they're done wiping?
    • silga, on 10/12/2007, -18/+1eww wtf nasty posts
    • lolcopter, on 10/12/2007, -1/+33I think that's the first time I've seen more digg ups on a comment, than on the article itself!
    • tidu, on 10/12/2007, -9/+2nixon richard, wow you comment has 430 diggs and the story has 280..
    • diggduggjoe, on 10/12/2007, -6/+21Sheryl Crow. Wow!

      She is hot. She is beautiful. I enjoy her music.

      However, I will use whatever I deem appropriate to feel "clean". If, someone who is not there wants to second guess my use of TP, then I demand they appear to do their handiwork of TP/AHOLE optimization! Otherwise, my butt hole is my domain, I will use whatever needed to do the job. I will even choose a bidet, if needed, and waste additional water in the process.
    • gamerjon, on 10/12/2007, -1/+28@nixonrichard: nominated for best digg coment ever!
    • tizz66, on 10/12/2007, -0/+58"Yes but how does a blind person know when they're done wiping?"

      What do you think the guide dog is for? ;)
    • AriaStar, on 10/12/2007, -5/+5When I was younger, a hunter's initiation my dad tried pulling on me and my brother (he fell for it, I didn't) was the Scotch wipe. You fold the square in quarters, tear off a tiny bit in the center corner so there's a whole in it, stick your middle finger in the whole and try to wipe without getting it on your finger. Then you use the little bit your tore to clean anything that gets under your fingernails. I still can't believe my brother was dumb enough to fall for it. I just refused.
    • wlloydda, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4@nixonrichard
      You should be a writer --oh, wait...

      Definitely the best post I have ever seen on Digg!
    • thejake, on 10/12/2007, -1/+9@theasp18

      Since when are trees not a renewable resource?
    • pkulak, on 10/12/2007, -0/+24@nixonrichard

      You need some fiber, my man.
    • Pimptastic, on 10/12/2007, -0/+31I dont think Ive laughed so hard at a response on Digg in a long time. Bravo Nixon.
    • chazcross, on 10/12/2007, -2/+12personally ill rather stick with 3 sea shells.
    • flush2x, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8@nixonrichard: I laughed myself to tears with your comment. Thank you for making my day!
    • ramiro, on 10/12/2007, -4/+6Sheryl Crow and the late Ayatollah Khomeini seem to be in agreement. Here is an excerpt from the "Little Green Book of Sayings of Ayatollah Khomeini":

      "... It is not necessary to wipe one’s anus with three stones or with three pieces of fabric: a single stone or single piece of fabric is enough. But if one wipes with a bone, or any sacred object, such as, for example, a paper having the name of Allah on it, one may not say his prayers while in this state.
      ...
      In three cases, it is absolutely necessary to purify one’s anus with water: when the excrement has been expelled with other impurities, such as blood, for example; when some impure thing has grazed the anus; when the anal opening has been soiled more than usual.
      Apart from these three cases, one may either wash one’s anus with water or wipe it with some fabric or a stone."

      http://www.prophetofdoom.net/The_Little_Green_Book_2_09.Islam
    • SanTe, on 10/12/2007, -0/+29diggduggjoe wrote:
      "Otherwise, my butt hole is my domain, I will use whatever needed to do the job. I will even choose a bidet, if needed, and waste additional water in the process."

      I use the cat, myself. Pisses him off, but cats are self cleaning so he'll get over it.
    • SanTe, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1pkulak wrote:
      "@nixonrichard
      You need some fiber, my man."

      Actually, it sounds like he could use a lot less fiber. Something with constipation properties preferably...
    • KireGoTI, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1@TheKillDoctor

      The Dalai Lama might know the answer to that one...
    • mikelieman, on 10/12/2007, -8/+1Wow, did y'all REALLY fall for her joke? I mean, sure NEWSPAPERS are so dumb they don't know what fact-checking is, but if you read her orig. blog, she's talking about the June Taylor Dancers fer crissakes!

    • chester, on 10/12/2007, -0/+19Nixon for president!
      Wow, never thought I'd say that.
    • Technopundit, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1Yeh, a new plague would be nice right about now.
    • tritiumpie, on 10/12/2007, -0/+17Sheryl, go sing your pretty songs... but don't tell me how to wipe my ass.
    • mrjoedotson, on 10/12/2007, -2/+0@ TheKillDoctor

      I dunno about you but i dont look into my ass to make sure theres no ***** left...
    • cancelorallow, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0This is why Cottenelle was invented.
    • FortyCaliber, on 10/12/2007, -4/+1That sounds like a ***** situation
    • weareglass, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Would she let us use some of her cds to finish the job?
    • ohnnyj, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1@gamerjon

      I second that nomination. Pure brilliance.
    • turbod33, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5Try eating at a dining hall in college while living in the dorms. Mexican night on friday, aka the Tijuana Toliet Cracker. Then try to wipe your ass with ANY amount of the 0.5 ply trash the college tries to pass off as TP. It's been 3 years and my ass is still in recovery from Nelson Dining Hall.
    • snatchertas, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Toilet forensics 101: Leave no paper-trail that can lead back to you. Cover your ass!
    • locojones, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2While I respect that Sheryl Crow is using her celebrity to bring the environmental message to the masses, it's hard to take her seriously when the message she is conveying is so utterly ludicrous.

      If she's so concerned about the paper usage in this country, then she should be pushing the legalization of hemp as part of her agenda. With a hemp plant growing to maturity in in 6 months, the pulp being of higher quality than tree pulp, and the fact that one acre of hemp will produce from four to ten times as much paper pulp as will an acre of trees, the real crime is that we're not using it to satisfy our paper demand, including toilet tissue.

      Granted, I've never used hemp toilet paper, so all I know is that it could be akin to wiping with the newspaper. But if we can spend a trillion dollars on a war, I'm sure we can find a way to make soft, renewable toilet paper that we can use as many squares as we want to.
  • Charlotte_Web, on 10/12/2007, -4/+55... was going to post a comment, but honestly, I can't top the story itself... :-P
    • ivorysky, on 10/12/2007, -6/+4Yes, whatever happened to 'one for up & down, one for side-to-side and one to polish'
    • franksmith, on 10/12/2007, -2/+4How about something simple like...

      SMART MOVE LANCE!
    • mikelieman, on 10/12/2007, -4/+1How about "Newspaper Too Dumb To Fact-Check"?

      Y'all got PWNED by her joke!

      Suckers!

  • nstanosheck, on 10/12/2007, -3/+134Obviously Sheryl Crow's butt stinks.

    And how the heck are they going to enforce this law? Cameras in the toilet?
    • doctorcaligari, on 10/12/2007, -2/+181I guess we now know why Lance Armstrong dumped her...it's stanky down there!
    • obijohn, on 10/12/2007, -1/+54There is no way on earth a woman could write that and be serious. My wife grabs a coupla handfulls when she PEES, much less the "other" business.
    • MaynardJK, on 10/12/2007, -2/+70@obijohn

      "My wife grabs a coupla handfulls when she PEES, much less the "other" business."

      You lie. Women don't poop. The look at themselves in the mirror for five minutes.
    • BeyondGoodNEvil, on 10/12/2007, -1/+14I like Sheryl's brother's comment that they should wash it to reuse the ***** ungodly square. I'm sure he was 100% joking but she didn't catch it and considered it a reasonable suggestion.
    • chillypepper, on 10/12/2007, -3/+21I actually recorded a video of her saying this- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8dtz8Ku5Uw , we laughed. It was a joke.
    • stave, on 10/12/2007, -6/+2@chillypepper
      Dug up for giving context. It was a JOKE, folks.
  • Dhalsim007, on 10/12/2007, -0/+47I can see it now. Automatic mechanical toilet paper dispensers that dispense one square at a time. Argh! Anyone know how to hack those?
    • MrSketch, on 10/12/2007, -4/+60@dhalsim007: "Automatic mechanical toilet paper dispensers that dispense one square at a time. Argh! Anyone know how to hack those?"

      I hear it involves more swearing.
    • theasp18, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8You can thank Georgia Pacific's En Motion dispensers with that trend - open them up and you can program how much towel they dispense to dry your hands. By the time you get done waving your hand in front of the sensor to get out more paper your hands are dried.
    • ScionAltera, on 10/12/2007, -1/+16...with an axe.
    • howitzeral, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12@Mr.Sketch: +1 for the Demolition Man reference
    • bhavi, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8..and it comes with DRM.
    • diggduggjoe, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7Simple, bring your own TP. Why waste time when you can bring your own roll. That is the point anyway.

      Big business does not want to pay to wipe your ass! They want to force you pay for it. The environment will be the excuse to make you do so. Get use to it, I am sure some big corp will come out with the TP Belt Clip!

      I can envision it now. TPCO's TP belt clip with NEW swivel action! Act now and get TPCO's Dual for the price of the single with patented dual swivel action.

      "No matter what you do, you will have what it takes!" TM

    • robharper, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6Maybe if you just wave your hand in front of it multiple times, it'll eventually think you're a new guy.
    • Technopundit, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4First, I'd smash the machine, then I'd go looking for the guy who installed it.
    • WannaBeSquare, on 08/25/2008, -0/+1Auto-Hack Tool.
  • dognose, on 10/12/2007, -1/+119because toilet paper is the biggest contributer to global warming? Please! There are so many better things to tackle. Driving, big monster houses and a disposable society in general. TP is not the problem!

    Take a look at her touring requirements:
    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/scrow/scrow1.html
    • enki25, on 10/12/2007, -16/+2So you would suggest forcing people to buy small houses because asking people to use less TP is infringing on their rights? That some people are wealthy is not the problem. That some people would need to wipe over a tarp if they were limited to one square is not the problem.

      The problem is that federal regulations of industry ignore the long term economic impact of pollution.
    • toros, on 10/12/2007, -4/+0no weed?
    • theasp18, on 10/12/2007, -7/+0If you want to support a renewable toilet tissue - buy purely cotton - http://www.purelycotton.com - it's made of 100% pure cotton.
    • twinklyJesus, on 10/12/2007, -1/+41No, he's suggesting her lifestyle might be a little hypocritical. You should use only one square of TP, drive a shoe box sized car with a vibrating bed motor and live in a fish bowl, while she arrives in style, demands services and exotic oddities, is chauffeured around in limos and SUVs, or makes use of large armies of polluting gas/diesel guzzling trucks and cars.

      In other words, do as she says, not as she does.
    • member57, on 10/12/2007, -1/+32Good grief 3 tractor trailers, 4 buses, and 6 cars! Holy carbon batman! This is a hypocritical bitch! Wasting that much energy for ***** music is a crime anyways. Her music sucks, and she's a freakin' socialist to boot. Typical elitist one too.
    • devindotcom, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8Purely cotton - what the hell? Cotton that could be used to, oh, I don't know, clothe the ***** underprivileged masses? Are you insane?
    • thedobber, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7Sheryl Crow

      Hot, rich and deluded.

      Can't win em all.

  • littlebylittle, on 10/12/2007, -2/+41One square? That's gross.
    • humperdeath, on 10/12/2007, -7/+4Some countries and other rich folk, have seperate bowls for cleaning, that wont require any paper at all. Then one square to dry off might just do it. But alas for the common folk that have but one bowl to poop in, one wipe aint gonna do it.
    • Jwoey, on 10/12/2007, -3/+38I totally think america should adopt the use of a bidet.

      I mean, think about it. If you ate spaghetti for dinner you wouldn't even think of wiping your plate with a thinner-than-paper 3x3 inch piece of TP and then put it back in the cabinet, would you?

      No! You wash it with soap and water first!
    • dcmjzero, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8if you got ***** on your hands, would you rather have some water or a paper towel? i am with you Jwoey.
    • djSyndrome, on 10/12/2007, -0/+23Forget the bidet. What we need are the robotic cleaning seats they have in Japan. They can be retrofitted onto existing toilet bowls.

      You haven't lived until you've pushed the red button.
    • leftnut, on 10/12/2007, -0/+18Yeah, and when the robots take over the world their first order of business will be to remove *your* business.

      I'll keep it a manual process, thanks.
    • theasp18, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11Here's some geek toilet paper info for you:

      There are four sizes of toilet paper commonly found:

      1. 3.75" x 4.5" - most common size referred to as a "cheater sheet"
      2. 4.5" x 4.5" - old size - called a "full sheet" - it was reduced to 3.75" to cut costs
      3. 4.09" x 4.5" - the new up and comer because if you add 550 sheets to a roll and put 80 rolls in a case it fits better on a pallet instead of a the traditional 3.75" x 4.5" 500 ct. 96/rolls per case. (we're talking commercial toilet paper here)
      4. 3.5" x 4.5" - this is mostly found in Canada and quickly spreading from the East Coast of America - it's the new "cheater" - a "double cheater" because it eliminates more paper cost in the case of tissue.

      When you get into retail - most common size is about 4.0" x 4.5" with 200 lousy sheets on a roll. You really get ripped off at a grocery store.

      If you want the BEST toiet tissue - head over to http://www.purelycotton.com - the only toilet paper made from "cotton" - yes, even "cottonelle" has not cotton in it. Jerks.
      • juliandunbar11, on 05/30/2008, -0/+4HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?
      • trendbreakr, on 08/26/2008, -0/+1@juliandunbar11
        It's probably best not to ask.
    • kangaru, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9@Jwoey

      You can only compare that to a plate if you're actually eating things off your ass...

      ...that or crapping on your plates.
    • BeyondGoodNEvil, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0@theasp18

      Won't be long until we're down to .5" x 4.5", so they can pack the rolls just that much tighter.
    • spoulson, on 10/12/2007, -1/+0-Forget the bidet. What we need are the robotic cleaning seats they have in Japan. They can be retrofitted onto existing toilet bowls.

      Cue Jackass clip...
    • Technopundit, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Ya can't do anything with one square of toilet paper, fer cryin' out loud! That's barely enough paper to roll a friggin joint!

      However, being a man of the world, here is the proper method:

      Tear a small round hole in the sheet.
      Put finger through hole in sheet, and use finger to wipe.
      Pull sheet up and over finger to wipe finger "clean".
      Use the little hole piece you tore out of the sheet to clean under the finger nail.
      Return to civilization ASAP.
  • restive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12Yeah, the next problem will be disease after people punch holes in their one square.

    Got a case of the runs? You get 3 squares!
  • implied, on 10/12/2007, -5/+134Someone please slap this dumb bitch
    • LanceArmstrong, on 10/12/2007, -2/+77Done.
    • hdtvdust, on 10/12/2007, -22/+3How about slapping people who are so stupid as to think this is a serious story?
    • conwayblue, on 10/12/2007, -5/+1Gladly
    • crawf061, on 10/12/2007, -1/+22I like how you made a new account just so you could make that comment
    • colincornaby, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2Did you watch the video? It was a joke, she didn't actually mean it...
  • teadrinker, on 10/12/2007, -2/+88Hmm. Let's see. Toilet paper - usually made from recycled paper. Furthermore, almost all paper comes from tree farms. Furthermore, most oxygen is generated by algae, not trees.

    Yup. What we see here a usual case of an idiot rich tree hugger joiner. The one that pays/tells others to hug a tree. Oh and I bet she is using some of that deluxe stuff, which contains enough fibers for 10 normal sheets.

    Meanwhile, I will use the amount of paper that is a balance between what I can afford and what gets my ass clean. And since paper is cheap, I always end up choosing a clean ass. That usually makes for 6-10 sheets normal.
    • Hiki, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7The environmental benefits of me using one square will just be negated by the countless gallons of soap water that'll have to go through the treatment plants after each dump.
    • member57, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8Why not ***** on the ground, wipe with a stick or leaves? Double benefit, fertilize and not use toilet paper!
    • theasp18, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2Most toilet paper is actually made from virigin fibers or a combination of both in the retail trade. Especially out West where you have the Tree Hugger capital of the world. A majority of commercial TP in the Midwest and East is made of recycled because they're more concerened about a cheap price and not a white, bright sheet (traditionally).
    • WiseWeasel, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3@member57: You realize most people live in urban areas, right? The health implications would not be good...
    • BeyondGoodNEvil, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Maybe used toilet paper should be recycled also. All that wasted paper, down the drain.
  • doctechnical, on 10/12/2007, -4/+43Does anyone have Sheryl's address? I want to send her a case of corncobs.

    I'll get you back to nature, darlin'. Bend over.
    • TheKillDoctor, on 10/12/2007, -4/+3I want to send her all my used ***** mittens.
    • dave932932, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1Used tampons are a better idea
  • UGM2099, on 10/12/2007, -2/+41Everyone here needs to get those flushable wipes, the ones that are just like baby wipes but meant for adults. It will change your life.
    • nstanosheck, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6I agree but they also make your butt very sensitive to industrial toilet paper if you have to use it for any length of time after your skin is used to wipes with aloe.
    • rodan32, on 10/12/2007, -2/+33I find a two-stage process works best - the moist wipe for the bulk, and then paper for the remainder. This way I get that baby-fresh feeling, while still keeping my hard-earned calluses.
    • Gryffydd, on 10/12/2007, -1/+19Exactly! There's just something not quite right about scraping poop off your ass with dry toilet paper... Though I use paper for the bulk and finish off with the wipes.

      ...I can't believe I just shared that...
    • leftnut, on 10/12/2007, -0/+25Ahhhhhhhhhh!

      TMI
    • theasp18, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1The flushable wipes have synthetic fiber in them. That's how they hold together while being "moist". That's not good for your ass man.
    • ldburton, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0bah. flushable wipes are for sissies.

      i like the John Wayne style of toilet paper -- rough and tough and takes no ***** off anybody.
  • merdiesel, on 10/12/2007, -3/+67"Can you spare a square?"

    "no I don't have a square to spare, I can't spare a square."
    • Jennica, on 10/12/2007, -33/+3Sounds like a Curb Your Enthusiasm OR Seinfeld episode. I can picture Jerry saying it.
    • Ndric, on 10/12/2007, -0/+19Jennica, it IS from Seinfeld.
    • gotamd, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7That was an encounter between Elaine and one of George's or Jerry's girlfriends I think.
    • Cideu, on 08/25/2008, -0/+2I thought maybe it was Dr. Seuss.
  • RedHerringHack, on 10/12/2007, -7/+19This just killed any credibility she had with everyone that uses a toilet.
    Wow. What a dumb bitch. How many tampons a month is she allowed?
    Wish she would jam one in her mouth.
    • member57, on 10/12/2007, -2/+20She lost credibility with me years ago for accusing Wal Mart for all the HAND GUNS on the streets of America. Wal Mart does not sell HAND GUNS.... Dumb bitch..
    • diggduggjoe, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4I am sure she uses no tampons. She just bleeds into her stanky undies. Of course, that is after her stylin' rides on tour and her high class imported booze!
  • yourfavweapn, on 10/12/2007, -2/+54wait a minute....sheryl crow had credibility?

    • orbit1979, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4How about ANY star/celebrity with credibility?
  • gta3mobster, on 10/12/2007, -3/+1Lets see what truckers have to say about this...

    The regulation would be repealed in about 17 minutes.
    • theasp18, on 10/12/2007, -0/+11Truckers just ***** in their Big Gulp cups and throw them out on exit ramps. Where have you been? Real men, like Chuck Norris for example, just need sticks and some sand anyway.
  • liambarron, on 10/12/2007, -1/+16My grade 9 science teacher suggested re-usable toilet paper as a way to cut down on waste... As in you wash it once you are done and use it again. Needless to say he got sacked later that year after being deemed unfit to teach.

    A question we have to ask ourselves is what "ply" is Sheryl suggesting. I could do with using 1 square of 20 ply toilet paper.
  • tehbored, on 10/12/2007, -2/+18What the *****?! Now there are dozens of ways to save the environment and such, but you are not taking away my ***** toilet paper! I'm surprised she didn't say to use your hand!
  • lickmygiggle, on 10/12/2007, -1/+26I've had my colon removed.
    Seriously. I couldnt last with 5 squares of toilet paper.
    ***** you Sheryl Crow. Not everybody eats nothing but granola nad vegetables, and ***** turds that leave no mess behind.
    • Jwoey, on 10/12/2007, -1/+18Dude granola wont help keep your butt clean.
    • bluto36, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8granola will keep your butt clean, if you wipe with it.

      wiping with grape nuts works the best, its like a butt hole sandblaster
  • NinjaBoy, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3Someone post a link to the howto of this. If you have the link you'll know the one im talking about
  • Indryd, on 10/12/2007, -14/+8To loosely quote SARA SILVERMAN:

    "My boyfriend has this big old hairy *****, and he's like 'you ever thought about how hard it is to wipe one of these? It's like scrubbing peanut butter out of a shag carpet...'"

















    That's while I'll never get below 1/4 roll per dump.

    Sorry Cheryl
    • joel8x, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5And then I discovered baby wipes. Oh how clean my hole has become.
    • Indryd, on 10/12/2007, -3/+1Come on you guys! This is hilarious!!!
  • jmpeagle, on 10/12/2007, -3/+6paper is carbon neutral...all ou paper comes from tree farms...if demand for paper went up then so would the number of trees planted. Using less paper means less trees will be planted.
    • est1979, on 10/12/2007, -6/+2All our paper? seriously? show your source, because i see trees being cut down 4 no reason all the time.
    • elnerdo, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Trees being cut down are not being 'harvested' for lumber, they're just being cut down to make room for buildings and such. He's right, (ALMOST) all of our paper is from tree farms.
    • theasp18, on 10/12/2007, -6/+0whatever dude, do you just like making things up? you ever hear of clear cutting and selective cutting for forest management? how about recyceled paper? don't throw out useless statements to get a comment. DUGG DOWN BE-YOTCH.
    • mike17032, on 10/12/2007, -1/+9"All our paper? seriously? show your source, because i see trees being cut down 4 no reason all the time."

      No, you dont. We dont have roving gangs of chainsaw biker groups that go around clear cutting forests for the ***** of it. If someone is paying to have them cut, its for a reason.

      And trees are a renewable resource, the ones we cut for paper ARE replanted. The lumber companies plant more trees than anyone else in this country, by far.

      The trees that dont get replaced are the ones that are cleared to make room for houses (and farms). Thats where the rainforest is going, not to lumber. And there is no solution for it, because people need places to live and crops to grow.
  • republicker, on 10/12/2007, -11/+1I'd like to see that bitch wipe that big wrinkled old (probly drooling) pussy w/ one sheet.
  • combustion8, on 10/12/2007, -7/+2I'd prefer to whipe my ass on her sun abused hippie forehead.
  • nexah3, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11Looks like I'm not the only one who has to use half a roll..
  • civperc, on 10/12/2007, -4/+1Sheryl: [team america]"You...CAN'T..be serious......"[/team america]
    • hdtvdust, on 10/12/2007, -2/+0You think "You CAN'T be serious" is from Team America?
  • ThisIsBob, on 10/12/2007, -0/+16No wonder Rove told her not to touch him.
  • HowrenMusic, on 10/12/2007, -2/+0uh.. ***** no.
  • kevinchai, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1A lot more stains on pants.
  • picto, on 10/12/2007, -6/+1Anyone interested in other impossible things, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_impossible_puzzles
  • TheSwagger, on 10/12/2007, -0/+19Maybe Sheryl Crow can not have anything printed on her next album. And no posters or add space. An Jesus, cd's are probably quite a strain on the environment. And guitar amps they use a ton of power, and a ProTools rig, so many harmful materials, and money don;t need that. ***** off Sheryl Crow, you haven't made anything interesting since you first record which a bunch of talented producers and studio musicians wrote and you took all the credit for. I'm going to take a dump and use the whole roll
    • Technopundit, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I think we should each take a big ol' dump, wrap it up and mail it to her.
  • frodsteamin2, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3my CONSTAND MUDBUTT does not allow me to use just one square...its impossible i tell you.
  • FallenOmen, on 10/12/2007, -2/+3if we were all 65 lbs wet and an ass as big as a quarter like Sheryl Crow , i might have agreed with her.

    But i'm not so i say let her test that theory. Lock her in a room for 2 weeks and feed her nothing but peanut butter sandwichs and gravy/mash potatoes

    and i guarantee she would suck off a horse just to get more than i square , it would be for 8 ply 200 roll of toilet paper :)


  • proliance, on 10/12/2007, -1/+34Sheryl Crow is not allowed to speak for those of us with hairy asses.
  • techweenie1, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1Talk about a little *****.
  • tarheel314, on 10/12/2007, -2/+4Great suggestion, Sheryl. Now let's see what we can do about the "carbon footprint" of your concert tours:

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/backstagetour/scrow/scrow1.html
  • Thathurts, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6One ***** ticket? She wants us to use one freakin ticket?

    Those kamikaze ***** REQUIRE more than at least 30-35 ***** tickets.

    one square my ass... (yeah pun)
  • Soulglow, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13i already use one square. that's why i smell like feces.
  • ringworm, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8Is there any chance this was a tongue-in-cheek joke?
    • yomomo, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2they'll make it that soon, just wait. If not, she'll proclaim she's an alcoholic seeking treatment.
    • merreborn, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6According to the fark thread on this, hours ago, it was a joke, which becomes clear if you read the entire quote in context. I didn't bother to research further.
    • merreborn, on 10/12/2007, -1/+9Yeah, this is a joke. Read the original quote in context:

      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-crow/laurie-and-sheryl-go-to-s_b_46320.html

      "When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out.""

      She then goes on to propose the "Dining sleeve".

      Congratulations digg, you've taken a stupid joke seriously.

    • hdtvdust, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5It was OBVIOUSLY one. The entire thing was one.

      The funny thing is the first response to you suggests that they will try to "save themselves" by callign it a joke now. So, rather than accept the reality that he is a ***** gullible idiot, he will just claim that it wAS true, but they will make it seem like it was a joke.

      It is a joke poeple. Anyone who didn't see that immediately is not ready to face the real world.
  • Lnomis, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Umm, Sheryl?
    Why not just plant more trees?
  • pitfallharry, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7What is this, friggin Russia?!?
    • anagoge, on 10/12/2007, -4/+3In Soviet Russia, toilet paper ***** on you!
    • benitojuarez, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2in soviet russia you STFU.
  • dreicher, on 10/12/2007, -0/+38Toilet paper? Why aren't you all using 3 seashells?
    • sweetrelease, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11Hah he dosn't know how to use the three seashells
  • gtluke, on 10/12/2007, -9/+3gotta love "do as i say, not as i do liberals"
    algore, and now this idiot.
    i'll take a private jet to my concert, but wipe my ass with 1 square while on it.
    • fredxor, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5Hey! Al Gore and Sheryl pedal really hard to get those turbines spinning! Not like those passenger airlines where the passengers sit while they fly around, spewing pollutants into the air. [/sarcasm]

      Famous people tend to have unrealistic ideas that supposedly help everyone but don't affect themselves. That's why they don't suggest taxes for people who use private air travel, etcetera.
    • DocBoss, on 10/12/2007, -2/+4Yea, those darn liberals and their hypocrisy. Good thing us Conservatives, you me and Ted Haggard never do anything we tell other people not to do.

  • systemghost, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9This further proves my life-long theory that women don't *****. And if Sheryl is any indication, apparently it goes straight to their brains.
  • hdtvdust, on 10/12/2007, -14/+1I cna't believe there are 60 comments and not ONE moron realizes that this was a joke.
    • hdtvdust, on 10/12/2007, -13/+0Whoo hoo! Digg me down for pointing out how ***** stuipid you all are. Nice job. Just further drag Digg down in crediiblity. It is alreay completely irrelevent. No big money offers for Kevin anymore. They re all gone noew, thanks to the userbase.
    • Indryd, on 10/12/2007, -2/+0I know someone who doesn't get someone else's jokes...(it's you, *****!)
    • hdtvdust, on 10/12/2007, -4/+0Indryd..wrong you wrothless piece of *****. The commetns here are SWERIOUS. Unless the Digg community thinks it is funny to make themselves look like ***** idiots.

      You are worthless, and will never nbe loved. Remember that unti lthe day you die alone. But if you had any integriuty, you would bring on that sweet death by your own hand now, and save your family the troiuble and having yo alive
    • bluto36, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2did you just say that in a mirror? you should!
  • techweenie1, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7By the way, anyone know where I can get rolls of toliet paper with Sheryl's face on it...I'd pay extra for them.
  • Maverick0420, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3lets see crow have diarrhea and use only 1 square
  • jamin, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3One square per restroom visit? What in the world does this woman eat?
  • Beatmiser, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Clearly, Sheryl Crow has never witnessed one of my unspeakable gut horror burning anal geysers.
  • RomeyRome, on 10/12/2007, -4/+6She can use one square when I bust a load on her face.
  • ZakColeman, on 10/12/2007, -7/+1Something witty here.
  • Fetching more discussions...
    Show 51 - 100 of 216 discussions
  •  

    Login or register to add a comment

    Create a new account or login to join in the conversation on Digg. You'll also be able to Digg stories to help promote things you like.


© Digg Inc. 2008 — Content posted by Digg users is dedicated to the public domain.
DIGG, DIGG IT, DUGG, DIGG THIS, Digg graphics, logos, designs, page headers, button icons, scripts, and other service names are the trademarks of Digg Inc.